Postpartum depression…it was f*#$%g intense.
I was having an internal war with my thoughts, my emotions, my physical body and my actions. Having a baby in late October and going through this massive hormonal change was such a deep dive into darkness.
My nipples were brutally sore and cracked from breastfeeding. When it was time to nurse, I would cringe every time my baby latched on. I was so tired and weak from the lack of sleep, stress and the hormonal shedding that my skin developed an allergic reaction to something ~ it could’ve been diapers, something I ate, ointment, etc. A rash spread throughout my upper body and onto my face. It got so bad to the point where I couldn't smile or laugh because if I did, my face would crack and pus would start coming out of it.
I was also feeling disconnected to my newborn, which brought out the feeling of jealousy in me. I was jealous because my husband had more of an emotional connection with the baby, therefore I lashed out. I would get angry, scream, cry, become fearful and anxious over and over again. Many times I thought to myself “Wow, I am in my own hell."
Some nights I would cry and pray to God and to the Angels, "I know this is what I have to go through. Please, Universe, help me through this rough time. I know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Please, I ask you to help me. Please give me signs that you are here with me."
I knew immediately that I needed to get help as soon as possible. I asked the Angels to guide me along the way. “Archangel Michael, come in and help me release what I need to let go of.” I would visualize smoky waves leaving my body as they dissipated into the air with sparkles. “Thank you Archangel Michael for this release.” He told me that he wasn’t done yet. More to come. I had to trust the process. Keep on trusting. Keep on seeing the beauty in the darkness.
I kept trudging through my internal war zone. Sometimes, I couldn't believe what my husband and I were going through. It was a true test to our relationship and so many times i wanted to give up. Being a new parent was like being thrown into the middle of an ocean.
But week-by-week, we were improving as individuals and as a new family. I was listening to my guidance and taking little action steps as they came along. I'd like to share some of the steps I took in the hopes of being of service to all mamas going through postpartum depression.
10 Ways I Healed from Postpartum Depression
After doing all of this, what happened? I was healing. I felt Source Energy going through me again. I had a few good days, then a bad day would come along…two steps forward, one step back. I kept telling myself that I would get through this. This is transformation. This is becoming a mother. This is shedding the old me. Things will come up. Intensely. And when they did, I LOVED myself like there was no tomorrow. Especially during the excruciating days.
Now I am able to laugh again. I am able to smile and have a normal conversation. My husband and I are once again playful and affectionate towards one another. Most importantly, I am really enjoying my baby so much. She is our Divine Creation from the Infinite Source Energy of Love.
If you are someone who is going through postpartum depression and would like some spiritual guidance, energy healing work and/or messages from your Angels, I am happy to be of service to you. The number one thing is to get help as soon as possible. Thank you for reading my story. You are not alone.
Much love to you always,
photo by James E. Demuth
Angela is an Intuitive Reiki/Crystal/Angelic Healer, an Angel Tarot Card Reader, a Kundalini Yoga Teacher, and a Meditation Guide living in Los Angeles, CA. If you would like to book a session or to contact her, please click here.