10 Steps I Took to Heal from Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression…it was f*#$%g intense. 
​
I was having an internal war with my thoughts, my emotions, my physical body and my actions. Having a baby in late October and going through this massive hormonal change was such a deep dive into darkness.

My nipples were brutally sore and cracked from breastfeeding. When it was time to nurse, I would cringe every time my baby latched on. I was so tired and weak from the lack of sleep, stress and the hormonal shedding that my skin developed an allergic reaction to something ~ it could’ve been diapers, something I ate, ointment, etc. A rash spread throughout my upper body and onto my face. It got so bad to the point where I couldn't smile or laugh because if I did, my face would crack and pus would start coming out of it. 

I was also feeling disconnected to my newborn, which brought out the feeling of jealousy in me. I was jealous because my husband had more of an emotional connection with the baby, therefore I lashed out. I would get angry, scream, cry, become fearful and anxious over and over again. Many times I thought to myself “Wow, I am in my own hell."

Some nights I would cry and pray to God and to the Angels, "I know this is what I have to go through. Please, Universe, help me through this rough time. I know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Please, I ask you to help me. Please give me signs that you are here with me."

I knew immediately that I needed to get help as soon as possible. I asked the Angels to guide me along the way. “Archangel Michael, come in and help me release what I need to let go of.” I would visualize smoky waves leaving my body as they dissipated into the air with sparkles. “Thank you Archangel Michael for this release.” He told me that he wasn’t done yet. More to come. I had to trust the process. Keep on trusting. Keep on seeing the beauty in the darkness. 

​I kept trudging through my internal war zone. Sometimes, I couldn't believe what my husband and I were going through. It was a true test to our relationship and so many times i wanted to give up. Being a new parent was like being thrown into the middle of an ocean. 

But week-by-week, we were improving as individuals and as a new family. I was listening to my guidance and taking little action steps as they came along. I'd like to share some of the steps I took in the hopes of being of service to all mamas going through postpartum depression. 

10 Ways I Healed from Postpartum Depression

 

1. Get support!!!! This is the most important thing!!!! Whether it be your spouse, partner, family members, close friends, a support group, a doula, a therapist, etc. They are your way out. Start talking about it so people can help you. There is no shame in talking about it with your family. They will actually thank you for being so brave and courageous for speaking up. This is what I had to do. I had to put away my ego and shame and let my family know that I was in deep pain. They were so compassionate and loving as I poured my heart out with tears streaming out of my eyes. ​​I also went to the Postpartum Depression group at the Pump Station in Santa Monica and found the first meeting to be incredibly helpful. Knowing that I wasn’t alone and making it relatable was the starting point of my healing journey. Work on your throat chakra. Imagine a beautiful light blue crystal (blue lace agate, celestite, turquoise, blue topaz) at your throat chakra and it is glowing from your throat outward into your auric field. Go even past your aura and see how far you can get. You want to be able to speak your truth, cry and release these feelings to the Universe. Your friends and support are your Angels!!
2. Talk to your OB, Midwife and/or Homeopath to see what options you have. I went the path of taking hormone therapy with progesterone pills until I felt like I was back to normal. It took about 2 days to feel like I was coming out of a fog and 10 days later I stopped taking progesterone all together. Postpartum depression was about 75% cured after hormone therapy. This isn’t for everyone and I know there is controversy around this subject. Just do what feels right to you. No matter what anyone says, listen to your body and see what it wants. 
3. Ask the Universe and Angels for help. They will show you signs that you are on the right path and give you encouragement. During this time, my spirituality was starting to decline. But I kept talking and talking, saying that I trusted that I had to go through this excruciating chemical imbalance in order to transform into motherhood.  Slowly the signs started to trickle in, most of the time through numbers on the clock. 11:11, 11:22, 1:11, 1:22, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55... They kept me going on and I knew I was going the right direction. There were so many other Angels and signs. Our families. Our friends. A group of people from Yoga West LA lovingly dropping off nutritious meals at our homes. Reiki Healing groups sending us reiki energy. Friends sending us prayers and love. Bless them, bless them, thank you, God, bless them.
4. Meditate. Breathe consciously. Even if it is a minute a day or 5 minutes a week. I found it helpful to meditate while nursing. Here’s a meditation exercise to do when it is time to nurse or bottle feed, please inhale and exhale as you visualize white light entering the crown and down to through your breast into the milk or through your hands into the bottle. Imagine the white light milk mixture going into your baby’s body full of health, vitality, love, compassion, peace, joy and abundance. By the end of the feeding, both you and your baby will be glowing with white light (or any other color that resonates with you).
5. Ground yourself.  Eat grounding root vegetables such as carrots, daikon, potatoes, beets. Drink bone broth, chicken broth, veggie broth, any kind of broth!! This is absolutely nourishing. Thank the food for giving you vitamins and minerals you need to heal and be a healthy mommy. Do grounding meditations. Squeeze your kegels. Feel and massage your feet so you are safe to ground in the world. 
6. Find some inspiration or spiritual direction/mentorship. I found mine through Matt Kahn’s YouTube videos. When I was browsing through Facebook one morning, I came across Soul Agenda's post and it was one of his videos.  I was intrigued. I ended up watching this 1 hour and 34 minute recording and literally felt my whole body go through a healing transmission. The videos were teachings and lectures on spiritual subjects. Every time I came upon another video, I felt a healing take place. My body seemed lighter. My mind came to many "ah-ha" moments where things started to make sense. It all came down to this one single important point. Love. Of course. There were bucket filled golden nuggets of wisdom in Matt Kahn's teachings. He talked about loving yourself like you were a 5-year old crying in pain. This was one of the most important tools I could have ever used during postpartum depression. When I was lying in bed some nights and was in so much anguish, I would put my hands on my heart and repeat to myself "I love you so much, Angela. I love you my heart. Everything will be okay. This is part of the process. I love you, Angela." I would feel tears while I gently stroked my hair, very gently like my mom used to do for me. I had to be my own mother. I even dove deep to meet my Inner Child, the 4-year old Angela, to give her a hug. I kept doing this. Over and over again, I was telling my heart I loved her. Whenever I  remembered, "Angela, I love you." I would gently touch my own hand or arm, reassuring myself that I would be there for me.
7. Take a salt bath with essential oils. This was incredibly helpful. I would put two drops of lavender essential oil into a cup of epsom salt bath and soak it up for as long as I could. Inhale the oils and Universal Golden Energy into your body and exhale all the unwanted emotions into the water. Visualize the water sparkling and purifying all that excess energy. At the end of your bath, watch the water drain away as it takes away what you shed.
8. Take a family trip. Get out of the house. Take walks. Look at trees. 
9. Love yourself like you love your baby!!! Talk to yourself, gently hug yourself, lovingly wipe your tears away and tell yourself how much you are loved. You are loved. So many people love you. Let’s do an Inner Child exercise. Inhale & exhale deeply 3 times. Relax. Which younger version of you needs most care and love right now? Imagine her and the present you hugging and loving each other. Hug, hug, hug!!! It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. Kisses on cheek. Everything thing will be just fine. Inhale and exhale.  
10. Remember that this is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Keep telling yourself that. This too shall pass. ​​

After doing all of this, what happened? I was healing. I felt Source Energy going through me again. I had a few good days, then a bad day would come along…two steps forward, one step back. I kept telling myself that I would get through this. This is transformation. This is becoming a mother. This is shedding the old me. Things will come up. Intensely. And when they did, I LOVED myself like there was no tomorrow. Especially during the  excruciating days.  

Now I am able to laugh again. I am able to smile and have a normal conversation. My husband and I are once again playful and affectionate towards one another. Most importantly, I am really enjoying my baby so much. She is our Divine Creation from the Infinite Source Energy of Love. 

If you are someone who is going through postpartum depression and would like some spiritual guidance, energy healing work and/or messages from your Angels, I am happy to be of service to you. The number one thing is to get help as soon as possible. Thank you for reading my story. You are not alone. 

Much love to you always,

Angela

photo by James E. Demuth

​Angela is an Intuitive Reiki/Crystal/Angelic Healer, an Angel Tarot Card Reader, a Kundalini Yoga Teacher, and a Meditation Guide living in Los Angeles, CA.  If you would like to book a session or to contact her, please click here.

​